No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize