in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
