So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
