so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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