FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
