I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I love how my cats smell like pot.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
