he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
