he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we made out on top of his cat.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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