Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
