I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
