i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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