Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
