I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Drunk is a universal language darling
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