I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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