tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize