Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
