This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize