know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
