and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize