you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
