My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize