chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
