Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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