You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
