We need to rekindle our bromance
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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