Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
