That's when you crack a 10am beer
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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