I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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