ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i believe in u and ur pee
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
