Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
