If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
