when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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