i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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