i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
