...so i touched it.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
