Umm I'm too high to move.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
