craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
