You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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