We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
There's always time for handjobs
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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