it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
