Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
