$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So many bounce houses so little time
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
