my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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