Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
