Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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