I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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