About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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