using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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