when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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