The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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