so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
