this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
