You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
