Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize