Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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