I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
