I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
