I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
